


idon’twannadie

by fanderanddbhfan



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Deserves Happiness, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has Panic Attacks, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) is Bad at Feelings, Gen, Hank Anderson Deserves Happiness, Hank Anderson Swears, Hank Anderson is Bad at Feelings, Mentioned Cole Anderson, Panic Attacks, Pre-Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), The Bridge Chapter (Detroit: Become Human), but yeah, eep, idk i made it kind of ambiguous, ig, no beta we die like men, only slightly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:42:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28558518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanderanddbhfan/pseuds/fanderanddbhfan
Summary: literally the bridge chapter but angstier. that’s it. that’s the whole fic.
Relationships: Hank Anderson & Connor
Comments: 8
Kudos: 86





	idon’twannadie

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I don't want to die Hank](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14878841) by [Btryx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Btryx/pseuds/Btryx). 



> hahaha

It all happened so fast.

Hank was sitting on the bench, with a beer in hand. He seemed angry... more than usual. It was just towards himself before, but now...

Did Connor say something wrong? He hadn’t meant to make the lieutenant upset with him. Why was he upset?

It must have been something Connor had said. Of course it was. He would never understand what Hank was thinking.

He should have kept quiet.

Hank stood up. “You look human, you sound human... but what are you really?”

He’s... what is he?

He’s a machine.

Of course he is...

Right. Of course.

But...

Hank wouldn’t want him to say that.

Right...?

“I'm whatever you want me to be, Lieutenant. Your partner... Your buddy to drink with... Or just a machine... Designed to accomplish a task.”

Hank glared at him, advancing on him.

_~~nonononono~~ _

“You could've shot those two girls, but you didn't. Why didn't you shoot, Connor? Hm? Some scruples suddenly enter into your program?” Hank raised his voice a little, shoving Connor.

Connor stumbled backwards.

~~_please don’t i didn’t do anything wrong i’m sorry_ ~~

“No... I-I just decided not to shoot, that's all...”

Hank didn’t look convinced. In fact, he looked angrier than before.

~~_he looks just like â **m** åń **d** ä what did i do wrong please don’t_ ~~

The lieutenant’s hand went towards his holster.

~~_stop_ ~~

~~_stop_ ~~

~~_stop_ ~~

~~_stop_ ~~

~~_stop_ ~~

~~_stop_ ~~

“But are you afraid to die, Connor?”

The revolver was pointing at his head.

He shouldn’t be shaking, he shouldn’t be scared, and _what will amanda think of him he’s so pathetic why is hank angry at him just ~~mākęītštøp~~_

_Don’t let him see how weak you are._

“I would c-certainly find it regrettable to be... i-interrupted... before I can finish this investigation.” He sputtered.

Was that good enough?

”Don’t dodge around the _fucking question._ Are you afraid to die?!”

_...No...no...nonononononononoit’sjustlikealltheothertimesimadeamistakeidon’twannadiepleasedon’tkillme-_

“I-I...” He couldn’t get any words out of his mouth. He could feel artificial tears forming in his eyes, why were there tears he can’t cry, _he ca n’t c r y_

_it’ s a ll too l ou d pl e as e sto p_

“What will happen if I pull this trigger? Hm? Nothing? Oblivion? Android heaven.”

Connor felt like he was choking.

_K i l l m e_

“Nothing... th-there would be nothing...” He managed to get out.

Hank seemed to falter for a second.

”...Connor?”

_he’sgonnakillmehe’sgonnakillmehe’sgonnakillmehe’sgonnakillme ~~ideserveitideserveitpleasekillmepullthetriggerpullthetrigger~~_

Connor couldn’t look at him, he couldn’t _think, everything was too much and Hank wa s go n na k i l l h i m-_

“Hey. Look me in the eye.”

~~_ “ŁŌØK MĘ ĪŃ THÊ ĘŸĒ WHĘŃ Î ŠPĘĀK TØ ŸÔŪ!” _ ~~

“P-Please... don’t...” Connor whimpered almost inaudibly. He curled in on himself, and was shaking like a leaf, tears running down his face.

_Pathetic._

Hank’s eyes widened and became more focused. “I-...” He looked down at the gun he was pointing and lowered it. “... Connor, I...” He put it back in his holster and put both of his hands in the air to show that he was no longer holding the gun. “I’m... I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- God, what was I thinking?!”

Connor’s head slowly rose up to allow his wide, tear-filled eyes to meet Hank’s. It was clear that he was scared... was... was he scared of...?

Hank’s chest filled with regret and guilt when he saw the look on Connor’s face. “...God, I... I never should have done that... I-I’m sorry, kid...” His voice broke a little as he spoke. _He looked so similar to Cole._

Connor quickly shook his head. “N-no... no, it’s... i-it’s fine...” He tried to reassure Hank, but his voice was quiet and wavering.

Hank felt even worse hearing this. “No... it’s not, Connor.” He sighed, letting his hands drop down to his sides defeatedly. “I never should have done it. I-“ His voice caught and he swallowed the lump in his throat, not knowing what else to say.

Connor didn’t understand. Hank ~~should~~ could have killed him. He would have gotten rid of him for the night, and he wouldn’t have been left alone in peace, just like he wanted. “I-I don’t understand, Lieutenant. It... doesn’t matter i-if you kill me. I’m replaceable. My memory would be uploaded into another model. The investigation wouldn’t be affected much, and you... you would have been left alone. Like you wanted.”

Hank was rendered speechless. Was that... was that what Connor really thought? That he meant nothing? That... it didn’t _matter?_

Connor straightened his posture, then, after a while, slowly bowed his head. “I apologize. I shouldn’t have been so emotional, I-I’m sure it was just a glitch. It will be fixed _.”_

Hank snapped out of his momentary shock and shook his head. “ _Don’t-_ “ He started off a bit loud, then calmed himself and continued. “Don’t apologize for that shit. You... you shouldn’t have to apologize for that.” After finishing his sentence, he went back to what Connor had said before, and realized something crucial. That that was what _he_ had thought of Connor when the android first arrived. Hell, for that matter, that was how _all_ androids were viewed. But... Connor was more than that. He’d become a constant in the lieutenant’s life. There was something in Connor’s eyes, and the way he acted and carried himself, that made him different than the other androids... but he didn’t see that until now.

Connor furrowed his brow in confusion and looked back up at Hank. He wasn’t supposed to freak out like that. Of course he had to say sorry. “...Why wouldn’t I apologize? I’m not supposed to feel anything. I’m designed to be useful, quick, and efficient. Emotions are not a part of that. I’m not supposed to be afraid, I... I need to be better than that. I can’t... I can’t make mistakes. Just being adequate... isn’t _enough._ I can’t mess up like that. That’s not how it works.” He explained as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

The more Connor spoke, the more Hank realized how manipulative and cruel CyberLife was being. How could they force a being - who could probably think for itself-... no, _himself_ at this point - to be perfect? To never make a single mistake, to always make the right choice? And without feeling any resentment? Androids were made to be obedient. Hank wasn’t sure how he didn’t realize how fucked up that was. CyberLife took what could have been a person and hollowed them out, filling up the emptiness with orders and tasks given so that they could slave away while the humans mocked and laughed at them, maybe even abused them, and they were expected to keep their mouths shut and continue their work. Even if they weren’t human... that was horrifying to think about. “Connor... no...” He whispered.

Connor was more bewildered than ever. “I’m sorry, I’m really not quite sure what you mean. I’m not alive, I’m a machine. I shouldn’t make mistakes... if I do, the consequences are severe.” He added quietly, though he seemed much less sure of himself.

Hank rubbed a tired hand over his face, knowing that he wouldn’t get anything substantial out of Connor. “I’d say we should get out of this place. It’s late.”

Connor nodded and looked over at Hank’s car for a moment, before returning to idly glancing around at his surroundings.

Hank sighed and looked at Connor with a genuinely apologetic expression. “I’m sorry, again... I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Connor gave a sad smile. “Really, it’s fine, Lieutenant. But, if it helps, I forgive you.” He offered, voice a bit flat.

Somehow, it hurt even more that Hank would be forgiven that quickly, but the lieutenant accepted nonetheless, nodding and slowly starting to make his way towards the car. “We should probably get going. Like I said, it’s getting late.”

Connor nodded and followed behind him, uncertainties starting to pile up in his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> ... i’M NoT CrYiNg, yOu’Re CrYInG!


End file.
